23, FtM Trans, Pansexual, Bemani Mommy
Client tells me about multiple problems she’s having with her website.
Me: I recommend you to send me an e-mail.
Client: Like… uh… an empty e-mail?
Me: No, one that outlines all these problems so I can fix them for you.
Client: What makes you think I have time to figure out what my problems are?
Me: What makes you think I do?
Me: So your username is your employee number, without the “e” and with an extra zero on the end.
Client: Is that a capital zero? Or just the little one?
Me: Just the number, zero.
Client: So upper case?
Client: All our sites are down!
Me: Seems fine here.
Client: We pay you to maintain this stuff, not cause more problems!
Me: I didn’t take your sites down. How do you know it’s my fault?
Client: It can’t be our fault! Our internet doesn’t even seem to be working!
Client: Can you print this for me?
Me: No, it has Elmo on it.
Client: I bought it off Etsy, and she said I could get it printed here.
Me: Elmo is trademarked. I can’t print copyrighted material.
Client: I have permission to print this from the artist on Etsy.
Me: Do they own Elmo’s trademark?
Client: I’m confident they do.
I had a simple, common contact form on my design portfolio website that worked well for about a year. Then I had this exchange with a prominent local reporter / blogger via Twitter to her 5,000+ followers:
Client: #WEBDESIGN #FAIL! @(myhandle)’s contact form terribly broken! Can’t get in touch…
Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.
Me: What black pen?
Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.
Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?
Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.
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